Towards the end, for a fresh start...

Sometimes our life is too short to let the ones we love know that we really care. It is hard and time now is too short to let the one know that I really value. Yes, one more year passing by. But, the distance seems larger by each passing day. Can I do any justice to ma own feelings????? Why am I branded wrong??????? These questions come up sometimes to ma mind.

BTW, December as usual ready to go home with a year. After couple of days 2009 will say farewell. For last few days, had enough of gulping down the cakes....... Christmas was unique this time. Absence of bro for the first time made Christmas less spicy. Even the plan to make crib dropped due to that.

May be the one year experience has changed me a lot. I'm no longer known for ma frankness, instead for ma diplomatic approach. 2009 is full of memories, experience, and learning. And after all those, comes twenty ten which is going to be one of the crucial phases of ma life. Life is like a radio, u ought to hear whatever the station plays for you but, I wish if my life was like an I-pod so that I can shuffle based on ma choice...............no matter what, life moves on............

I LOVE U DECEMBER

Don't feel like am able to write. All the words are getting locked up in ma mind. Feels like I’ve got long way to go...............
I'm just too lazy to write now. The only reason why I'm filling up the gap is that I don't like the page to be blank. Each day is a memory and not filling up the blog for one day (or atleast once a week) makes me feel that I’ve missed a chance to revisit ma life at some point in the future.
What I really need now is some peace of mind. I know it’s hard to find any. Just a break from ma daily routine of hurry Barry to little more relaxing one, it is the truth i am loosing up. Now it’s hard to recollect how I multi-tasked things, sometimes missing out, energy I felt and those busy but cheerful moments.............
December is here, Jingles started sounding and am preparing for Christmas. I already started decorating ma house for Christmas, Would like to make a crib in the front. Christmas time is always something I love. But this time will miss my bro…
I started December by a camp at Nilumbur, Malappuram, where I did camping to learn Participatory Rural Appraisal, as a part of my social work training. It is a beautiful place to go for outing. Camping was superb, but don’t want to remember last hours when I was molested by Mr. Fever and was down. The days before that at camp was awesome, I enjoyed many moments starting from mock social mapping. I can’t forget those three group games conducted by our teachers. Hope the whole group enjoyed. The best thing that I enjoyed was the Team efforts. One day ma team worked until 3 am. It was the best time I had at camp. Saw people supporting each other and completing the duties at time.
If not, the people around me, I would have lost ma dreams and the will long before. At each stage of ma life I had people, giving me a hand to hold on to and I can't thank them enough. Life at Sanskrit University is also proving the same. Had some good friends in the beginning and when the relationship slow downed now I have new ones. Thank god.
It is always sad to remember that after five months all these birds will flyaway to their own destination. Each of us must start doing things to make rest of the days ‘cherishable’. Adieu…

STANDING BY THEM

I can't believe that am writing ma 21st post on this blog and I am thrilled. Let’s start with Sachin, soon after he celebrated his 20 years of international cricket, Tendulkar become first batsman to reach 30000 runs in international cricket. And when he pushed left-arm paceman Chanaka Welegedara of Srilanka to mid-off and hurried for a single, Tendulkar notched up his 43rd Test Hundred. He is the marathon man of Cricket. His passion for the game, even in 21st year, shows that, he has still a lot of fight and runs left in him. Am a fan of that great man not just because of his game, he is a gentleman, in and off the field. John wooden once said “Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.” Oh Mr. Tendulkar, you are a genius and definitely, an ‘Indian First’. We are proud of u man…

Nowadays am thinking and working hard for ma dream. It is now too close to ma hands. It is to see youth of ma parish standing together & holding hands on a platform. I am now in a new avatar at ma parish. I was active at ma parish couple of year ago. I played many roles there. But an action of mine took all those things from me. Why I left teaching at Sunday school is still haunting me and ma mind is in search for reasons and explanations for that. Anyway now am moving ahead, hauling lessons learned from ma mistakes.

I always try to keep my childishness. But I have certain principles too. At present am week because in certain situations am failing to stand by my principles. You can't stand by principles only when they’re convenient. It’s about standing by them when they could hurt you too.

You are our greatest hero in this era.

Congrats, Sachin on this amazing accomplishment. And may you go on for many more years to come.
It’s always been a privilege seeing you bat and it will always be so till the day u hang up your boots. And that day a billion fans will be sad.
I’m thankful to god to be born in the era of sachin tendulkar and it is with great pride that I will tell my grandsons that I lived in the times of sachin tendulkar and saw a legend.
Thanks Sachin for all the memories and keep going forever.

Ma MSW Classmates

PLS Click on the image to show all.

My classmates(MSW) at Sree Sankaracharya University of Sanskrit, Kalady. Took soon after our third semster feild work presentation on November 12th 2009. We missed Prashant and Nishad during this photo session.

2012 Movie Review

Hey friends, am planning to see the movie 2012 this evening. Will post my review here.
So pls wait till night. While you can see the trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz86TsGx3fc
And you can also visit the official wabsite of the movie:
http://www.whowillsurvive2012.com

JUST BEFORE SHADE FALLS!!!

The final semester is here. Just six months more in university campus and after that, each one of us will be chasing different dreams. All the fun and frolic will come to an end. There will be only memories left. The class is as usual divided, each one sticking out with people they call "gang mates". I haven't felt much of a change in vibes. It has been the same for the past 3 semester. Nothing much to complain as no one is ready to break the comfort bubble, not even me. I ‘had’ a wonderful group of friends. Now I’ve given up ma attempts to make everyone feel special.

When will the class stand as united? It seems people are least bothered about another person’s life. Where does the problem lie? It is more sensible to curl up inside one’s own shell, go to the class with least expectations, copy down words of lecturers, go back home with a heavy heart. All the fake smiles & all the made up questions, which I have to reply will be there. For me, it sounds horrible to be sitting in midst a bunch of people, who doesn't allow you to penetrate through.

All doesn't seem so bad, I have had good times like the Induction program from seniors, First semester field work, Second semester fieldwork with Deena, All India tour, Nature camp, Rendezvous `09 (All Kerala social work students and teachers meet), seminar on intellectual property rights, Farewell for seniors, arts fest, all the bdays celebrated, field work at Kusumagiri mental health center, bike journey from Trivandrum, survey among truck drivers… Only a semester left to fly away from university campus. That’s what is painful, no matter how ma heartfelt. I have shared a good part of ma college life with these people who made me laugh, cry, smile, frown. I will walk down the gate of the university with mixed emotions. I will never be able to forget even one of them, because they are part of ma life, engraved into ma heart.

DEPARTURES - JAPANESE- 2009

Hai all, today am so bored, waked up very late, have exam after couple of days. But not in a mood to learn anything... lazy all these days or we can say, the trauma, ma first exam left on me is still making some sense…
I was feeling comfy in ma bed, then came to mind a Japanese movie that I saw last week. So I thought why can’t I share ma review of that movie to ma friends
Departures that’s the title of the movie
The Oscar Winner for best foreign film is a testament to life's detours and finding the art in them. It is one of those rare films ever. It is a delightful journey into the heartland of Japan as well as a beautiful look at a sacred part of japans cultural heritage. Daigo has always dreamed about being a cellist. After devoting his whole life to his craft, he finally secures a job in symphony. The career is derailed when the symphony goes out of business. Devastated and lost, he convinces his wife to move back to his hometown to live in the house his mother left him.
Desperate for any job he answers a want ad for someone willing to work with departures. Excited to become a travel agent he interviews with the companies owner Sasaki. The money is fantastic, but there was a typo in the ad. It should have read working with the "departed”. The shop specializes in ceremonial encoffination, a Japanese ritual for preparing a body for burial. Daigo decides to give it a shot while hiding it from his wife. After a series of very funny training mishaps, Daigo learns to the love this art in himself. But how will he tell his family and friends what he does for a living?
And the story continues unitl he perform his father for the Last Departure…
Am going with four out of five for the Departures directed by Yôjirô Takita
It's one of those rare films where all the elements get drawn together into a stunning blend. The performances are startlingly natural and effortless. The cinematography is gripping, whether they are shooting this cellist playing against snow capped mountains or showing the beauty of a life lost too soon.
DEPARTURE is a stunning piece of work, and should be viewed in a wide screen to feel the beauty in it. Ba bye...

AM ADDICTED TO LOVE!!!

Wish all of you a splendid and safe diwali... and good wishes for the whole year....
Here in my locality Diwali is not being celebrated to its full spirit. Last night when I just made a round of driving with my bike, I saw people decorating house with lamps very rarely. I missed fireworks too. Here its onam people celebrate… I started celebrating diwali only three years ago… thanks to my relative… its him who made everthing possible those days.. I enjoyed a lot but now his absence makes my diwali boring… I enjoy times when I get an opportunity to celebrate… life is beautiful… celebrate it & live it…
Last night my bro went for training… I will miss him for next SIX months… already feeling a bit… It’s for the first time we are parting for this much lengthy period of time… for the first I will miss him for Christmas… yup, I have to accept the fact… it’s a part of life…
It’s after a long time am writing for ma blog… September saw me working hard… It also gave me lot learning as wells experience… enjoyed being the student coordinator of state level gathering of social work students and faculty. Soon 15 days of all India tour… covered five important places of ma motherland… circular journey helped me to cover almost all the states of the largest democracy in the world… It gave me opportunity to walk inside the great indian parliament, Taj Mahal, Agra Fort, Red Fort, Jalianwala Bagh, Golden Temple, Juma masjid-New Delhi, Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Kerala House…etc… also can’t forget ma first taste of Metro rail & suburban Train, children of same mother with completely different characters… Also remembering all those lovely ladies, who walked in front of me… It’s hard to detail everything that I saw or in other words, experienced throughout my journey… I saw the facilities for our parliament members as well as children of Mother India begging for their meals… Last but not least I enjoyed my moments at Waga Border… It was amazing… enjoyed the evening ceremony there… saw the national flag of two countries, who always yell at each other for the lives of many innocent men and do nothing to stop more bloodshed, coming downwards at the same time… All those stuff makes the trip, the memorable one… O` no I can’t forget the support and love that I got from my classmates as well as my teachers who was with me during the ‘journey that I can’t forget’.

Now its exam time for me, yes the theory part… Internals are already over, so now am cooking ma brain for the Giant… pls pray for me… and about the title… yes am addicted, Addicted to Love…

Enjoying break after busy days...

Here I am again, sitting down, watching Ugly Betty.

Well, I should give two thumbs up for this American
TV series, really teaching us that inner beauty,
intelligence do make their ways more than the outward
appearance. So, thanks to Hermawan, I am passing my holidays by
watching Ugly Betty...It does help improve my
English watching Ugly Betty. Oh I love the English of Betty, Amanda and Christina.
Wow. Beth is crazy about Christina, due to her
Scottish accent... But I think Betty is nicer. Well, Beth's English is similar to
Christina's, but what do I have?....

ONAM GREETINGS & THANKS FOR BDAY WISHES

Today mallus across the continent are celebrating ONAM........... traditional festival of Kerala celebrated in honor of MAVELI the demon king who ruled Kerala long ago............. as the story goes............ he was a noble king.......... gods in heaven got scared of the fact that he was powerful and plotted ways to bring him down............ lord MAHAVISHNU disguised as vamana -the bhramin boy reached the king and asked for 3 foot land.......... maveli without knowin the trap agreed............. vamana covered earth n the entire universe in his first two steps................ maveli offered his head for keepin vamana's third foot land................ n thus he was banished to the underworld.................. vamana agreed to maveli's plea that he may be allowed to visit his kingdom once in a year................. n thus we mallus celebrate Onam.............. usually onam is celebrated for 10 days..... the most important being THIRUVONAM............. it is a time for families to spent time together............ to pluck flowers to adorn pookalam.......... n also the ladies in the family dance to the tune of thiruvathira................. after which the entire family sits in for the tasty sadhya(lunch)................... ONAM in every true sense is the traditional festival of kerala..............
Onam is not just another festival but, a feeling............. This realization came in very late after seeing the heavy rush on the streets yesterday, people flocking to buy vegetables, flowers and last minute shopping. Though rain dampened some of the Onam spirit, people were still enthusiastic about this once in a year festival.
Onam Greetings to all of ma friends…..

August left me with some Sweet memories…
I celebrated 22nd birthday on 28th day of August…. It was so sweet…. I would like to thank all whom stood for me, all these two decades…
Especially to my family…

Adding thanks to all those ppl who left me best wishes on ma birthday…


Haleema
Nea
Bony fas
Arun-Orkut
Fr. james
Arun PS
Sheri Cheattan
Anumol Thomas
Anish
Toney Joy
Shimi Madam
Ashraf
Baiju Sir
Varun Paul
Liji
Praveen kumar
Reshma
Tinu
Vysagh
Parvathy
Rajesh
Rahul
Deena
Joseph
Joshy
Viswaja
Rasheed
Renju
Thomson
Kannan
Fr. Francis
Vidya
Jithna
Rekha
Aswathy
Tino
Jeril
Shone
Edison
Amrutha
Sarang
Vineeth
Renjith
Ajeesh
Praveen
Ishitha
Deepthi
Amal
Keerthi
Sivaja
Rajesh
Anjana
Arun
Kailasnath
Sajith
Blessy
Regi
Anjali
Tresa
Jose
Martin
Remya
Vishnu
Bjorn
Jojo
And all...

Can i light those six candles, forever???

Hey buddies, am running hard... am busy all these days.... have some goals in front of me... so i am compelled to stop following my likes... my family, friends, music, f.r.i.e.n.d.s (sitcom in Star World)…. And the list goes on…. I am trying my level best to give a Missed call to all those things that i miss. BTW I enjoy being busy…
K… when tonight the clock says “its 12 now”, then I will say that, I had a wonderful day. Got many planned things done, successfully…
Nowadays, ma life at university is full of surprises, everyday you come across something new. Each day is an experience, learning lot of stuffs. Better make a good note of all these valuable lessons this time around. Am busy cooking the event for the nascent social workers and gurus of social work from gods own country… it is really amazing…
You can almost feel it or even smell from the air around when people that are close to your heart starts moving away. It doesn't feel good as a whole. Some relationships stand the test of time while, some other wither in small wind. It’s an old story of six friends… who just started discovering each other at the land of great sankara… it was just a bud, but somehow the manure was not enough for it to blossom…
I am trying to make the story of six friends reappear from its grave… am trying… or in other words I am already on track from last few days… have some plans… moving positive… and the most recent news is that I got “go-ahead” signal…
I'm looking forward to the days ahead, its special in many ways…

Hail Mother Mary

She came to my life maybe when I was in standard sixth or seventh along with love. For the Cambridge university dictionary she is “a pattern of sounds that is made by playing instruments or singing, or a recording of this “.

But for me it’s my life… yes music is my life… for the last few years I was a mere listener… who never hesitated to give both ears to music… but always I had a dream in ma pocket… it was to arrange some sounds to a pattern and make it to what we all adore, Music. And today my dream came true when I played the famous Malayalam Xian devotional song, by name, “Nithya vishudayam kanya mariyame” with a keyboard (organ).

The guidance of Fr. Augustine Putenpura (V.C.), who compiled the famous song “Altarayil Atma baliyayi”, for the Alter of Jesus Christ, adds extra splendor to my achievement. So i am very happy today…

And as I said in the morning “There's always a song for you and me. I found alot of them. Let's go for dancing across the ocean till we find each other again. See you on the other side”

Farewell…

Walking towards the future....

Here in this world for last two decades and two years. But i still don’t know how to describe me...

i'm a little of everything... optimistic.. doubtful.. confident... confused.. smart.. reserved...

i believe in giving and taking respect, standing up for what i believe in and also in Unconditional Love... unfortunately, or fortunately, i dunno, patience was never my cup of tea, almost all my decisions are taken on an impulse... i express myself more freely with words, which is why, they are my best friends.. when people spent time with me, i want it to be a party each minute, lots of color and sounds.. but i can also get moody at times... these words are not a sum total of the real me... its just something… but i hope this will give u an idea...

Let us walk together to the future with this blog... and this blog will be my footprints... One day while going through this blog, i'll find the paths marked by my footprints. They will tell me how long i have come, how much more i will have to go. Looking back, i will be able to see the footprints that accompanied mine and remember the joy and sorrows i shared with the owners of those... My blog is a box, in which i will place the happenings of today so that i can open them at some later period of time and hold close to my heart those memories that once made me laugh or cry...

There's always a song for you and me. I found lots. Let's go dancing across the ocean till we find each other again. See you on the other side, love Arun....

CONTENTMENT!!!

Back after a busy schedule.... when i returned to ma home from campus, my thoughts where around the term HAPPINESS. I think misery brings other people into perspective… I realize now that most people are not as happy as they claim or seem... Being happy yourself makes others seem happy. Lately, I spend a lot of time comforting others. A case, verily, of the blind leading the lame… but am becoming quite good at it. Every little bit counts. Do you think this will reduce the heap of sins that I have accumulated?
But I ask myself… Do I really believe in sin and retribution? I don't think so… I prefer to believe in our benevolent God… one who forgives and forgets...Otherwise he would be too much like man.
Today, I was so busy. Was responsible for booking tickets for the academic tour of this sem… so when I came to ma dwelling, decided to listen music and get relaxed. I spend some time listening to MJ. It's so hard to digest the fact that he's gone. His “will you be there” played nearly ten times today… sure he is the king…
Dogs are strange creatures. No matter how much you scold, they always greet you with the same enthusiasm. That's more than that can be said for some human beings.

All my problems retreat to a safe distance when I'm with ma favorite music. This could possibly be due to the fact that music to me is a sound sensation, assimilation, anticipation, adulation, and reputation!
Just one more delicious day of freedom. But maybe I like being captive… in chains… Miles to go before I sleep....

REFF: God, MA LIFE, page no: 05082009

I get lost in the thoughts of ma existence and people are taken back by surprise. Its not just physical appearance that has changed but, deep down there are radical changes though the basic things remain same. I kind off got repelled today during the test hour by the fact that i could hate some so badly.

Believe me ,when i say the hatred is all for the right reasons. Whatever may be the reason, they were part of ma life for last a year. I believe friends are people who not only stand by your side during the good times but, the bad times too.

For, them it wasn't the case, all they cared about was the company, when they are in need, share the extra notes, bike..etc. They were never someone whom you can call friends. I've always stood for them. But pains were ma reward..

That's when i started hating them still, i found it difficult to hate them for, its difficult to hate some one for me. After each passing day they makes me hate them more. I know i sound in human but the factors affecting the relation are irreversible. I wish if i could drive away all the negative thoughts but, i cant.

3 days of plain bliss, where nothing else mattered other than eating, sleeping and browsing net. the very first day, With long hours wrapped under the bed sheet,literally refusing to get up from the comfy bed, i gave ma mom a big scare.What was i doing??? well, NOTHING at all, finally i did pull up ma act together, got ma self some dose of fiction and some travel thru net. Today i did miss some action in form of the disscution about academic tour for the semester,

i didn't care or think about anyplace or the fun. Occasionally i did slow down the thoughts focusing on the pain: What were ma friends doing at that time. But, it was nothing but a small bubble, which bursted and then disappeared into air.

I was happy with ma self....the pampering, the let it loose attitude. These 3 days gave me enough room to think for ma self, something that i rarely do. It was an intellectual break and thankfully i was futile. Though i had some lows too last week, issues with people who seemingly took ma spirit on the wrong note.I know may be I'm wrong but,the reasoning seems so clear. I have a life and I'm living it for ma self not for the world to decide what I'm gonna do with it."YEH MERI LIFE HAI,MUJHE JEENE THO"

"Someone may have stolen your dream when it was young and fresh and you were innocent. Anger is natural. Grief is appropriate. Healing is mandatory. Restoration is possible"

And the sun entered the womb of the sky mother and darkness fell.

Just had a wonderful friendship day...sent greetings to almost all of ma friends...few had time to talk with me thru phone...and thru the wondeful world of internet... i went out with some of ma best friends..yes it was a very good day fro me...

But nowdays its bit difficult for me...

Hamlet had a fatal flaw in his character. That is wat lead to his murder. To be or not to be..etc etc.

The point is, that way i'm the next candidate for murder. I'm talking about indecisiveness.

I suffer from this fatal flaw. I mean, I can't even decide wat flavour of icecream to buy. Even when am having a bad time i would like to cheeeese all d time...

Yes its all human to keep smiling at the time of adversities. Ha! believe me life is not that rosy.. if one doesnt speak out the problems buried deep within then ,one day the problem will consume u.. the void deep within ma heart is my current problem... sometimes i get so frustrated that i fail to see the world beyond the four boundaries of ma wall... I view the world from ma comfort zone... cursing all the bad things around... Not even once have i attempted to try to make a differnce of ma own..I know that its almost impossible to change the world in one week...

the way i dream... i am ashamed of the hollowness in ma words... do i have the right to question the existing system... All i can do is to believe that im also a part of the society...

that never needs to b questioned... or for the time being let the fire deep within me rest in peace...

I have nothing more to say. Au revoir.........

Out of the Depths have I cried unto you O Lord............

*Bonjour! to all you people out there. I had been looking for an opening to slip a post of mine in here, i think am too lazy to maintain a blog. k lets start...

"Sweet dreams are made of these
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something"

These lines have been in my head all day long. I love these days. It's a new phase.. new friends, new other stuff!Does anybody know Annie Lennox?? The OST of Bram Stoker's Dracula is by her. It's called Lovesong for a vampire....
I hate the weather. O' Mr. Rain come only at night.....pls....
Have you heard of Sgt Pepper's lonely hearts club? It's an album by the beatles. For some reason the phrase attracts me.I'm in love with latin phrases. I love their feel. Like" Ave Caesar Nos Morituri Te Salutamus" Or " De Profundis Clamo Ad Te Domine"..The latter is from the bible.
It means- Out of the Depths have I cried unto you O Lord............

PROLOGUE!!!

THis iS all about me!!!! Arun Paul... this is a REFlecTIOn oF wHat I Am....Ma sAaint liFE ...ma dazZling dReaMS.....mA seNsationAl thoUGHTz....UNcut meLO-DRama....itZ thE OthER SIde OF Dat kinDle the AurA of Ma heART....
i lOve mA fAmIly and mA fRiendS...........
aM loYal tOo. very emPathetic to tHose wHo huRt, and a prOmotEr Of "UNCONDITIONAL LOVE"**
bSides oLL, i hate mAskEd fAces.
U Cud rEad mE liKe d letters sCribbled on A bOOk. WhiCH are Ma rEflEctionS
WELCOME.....................
Arun Menachery



** post coming soon