DREAM, DREAM, DREAM!!!

Some people eat, sleep and drink their dreams while some loose track en route. Isn't your dream a part of you until you realize it? or is it a momentary infatuation?.Dreams that fade away into the background, eroding in the test of time, those are never dreams. They are illusions, ones that appear in your dreams and leave no trace in the warmth of early morning sun. As Dr. Abdul Kalam rightly said dreams are not the ones you see in your sleep but, the ones that not allows you to sleep.

MSW was never ma dream, but I was sucked into the tornado of so called flow of life and there I was, confused, anxious, puffing and throwing tantrums. In a month I realized, I had no other way other than to accept that I was actually there, in midst of problems faced by our society. Once, I understood that there was no way out I slowly agreed to be a part of it. I was inheriting someone else's dreams. At a point of time I started accepting social work as part of my dream. It was the new exposure to the life on the other side of our society that triggered a passion in me for social work and I decided to give it the best shot. 

I fail to understand the other side of the rule, If X was your dream and if it’s so close to you how can you just give up. Wasn't it the only thing you ever wanted in your life? If that's so why can’t you put in a 110%. Sometimes what we call as our dream may not be the right dream for us, one may stumble, take a few leap, get bruised but, that's it? You just give up? You sit there on the battle ground with your hands up in the air and say "THAT'S IT". You call that a FAILED ATTEMPT? I call it COWARDLINESS.

If you shout it out to the world that X is your dream, people around you will expect you to be an expert in your dream. Can't blame the people for thinking so because for a commoner, dreams are the ones we are good at, not something that you wanna try out if you can fit in or not. When you fail people see this as a lack of interest and then those dreams degrade to the status of "EX-DREAMS".

Here is another scenario, you have a dream and you are in the path of realizing your dream, one day you wake up and find a new dream holding its place against the old one. What then? You just let the old dream die? Or will you just let you first dream take a higher priority now this, i will leave it upon individual decision. What you want most in life, only you know, so prioritize based on the execution time and necessity.

"LIVE YOUR DREAM, NOT LET THE DREAM LEAVE YOU

Life is a bitch sometimes…

She is asking me a number of questions for last couple of months. Now I am totally weak answering questions one by one. That’s true buddies nowadays am facing a really difficult part of my life. I am nervous now, bcoz am afraid she still has questions for me in her pocket.
Last couple of weeks ago I saw a research baby. But it was so huge that I got scared of it. It gave me many nights of insomnia. Earlier data collection made me show signs of illness and later part of dissertation made me sick. I am totally fed up now.
My efforts to garnish last days at college with fun also went wrong. As a result, I got a very bad remark on me by someone I like. It was on the day of first internal xam. I don’t think now am totally fit to go for my externals.
There are only a few things to rejoice. First one is that my bro is back at home after successfully completing his training at Leela, Kovalam. We were compelled to welcome him with an ordinary dish, as it was ‘Free from flesh’ days for all of us at home. Next one is assurance of a stimulus pack for me from dad’s bro. It gave me some relief from ma worries. Thank god! O’ how can I forget to tell about my first interview?? I got selected. But I regret I was unable to take a decision in the given time. So I had to drop the offer letter.
And that is how nowadays I am swimming in this large ocean called LIFE. May god bless all of us.

EMPTINESS

Nowadays, when I come up with something funny, my world goes upside down and I come back to ma old pensive world. Data collection for my dissertation is making some troubles to me. I have even started developing an allergy towards data generation. Exams coming right after this month and deadline to submit dissertation is making some holes in my happy days. Financial burdens and burning climate is adding to this dry period in my life. A dog also got an opportunity to trouble me. These things making my trial to catch dreams bit difficult… Life!!!! Wish I could fade away into emptiness.

I LOVE U DECEMBER

Don't feel like am able to write. All the words are getting locked up in ma mind. Feels like I’ve got long way to go...............
I'm just too lazy to write now. The only reason why I'm filling up the gap is that I don't like the page to be blank. Each day is a memory and not filling up the blog for one day (or atleast once a week) makes me feel that I’ve missed a chance to revisit ma life at some point in the future.
What I really need now is some peace of mind. I know it’s hard to find any. Just a break from ma daily routine of hurry Barry to little more relaxing one, it is the truth i am loosing up. Now it’s hard to recollect how I multi-tasked things, sometimes missing out, energy I felt and those busy but cheerful moments.............
December is here, Jingles started sounding and am preparing for Christmas. I already started decorating ma house for Christmas, Would like to make a crib in the front. Christmas time is always something I love. But this time will miss my bro…
I started December by a camp at Nilumbur, Malappuram, where I did camping to learn Participatory Rural Appraisal, as a part of my social work training. It is a beautiful place to go for outing. Camping was superb, but don’t want to remember last hours when I was molested by Mr. Fever and was down. The days before that at camp was awesome, I enjoyed many moments starting from mock social mapping. I can’t forget those three group games conducted by our teachers. Hope the whole group enjoyed. The best thing that I enjoyed was the Team efforts. One day ma team worked until 3 am. It was the best time I had at camp. Saw people supporting each other and completing the duties at time.
If not, the people around me, I would have lost ma dreams and the will long before. At each stage of ma life I had people, giving me a hand to hold on to and I can't thank them enough. Life at Sanskrit University is also proving the same. Had some good friends in the beginning and when the relationship slow downed now I have new ones. Thank god.
It is always sad to remember that after five months all these birds will flyaway to their own destination. Each of us must start doing things to make rest of the days ‘cherishable’. Adieu…

Ma MSW Classmates

PLS Click on the image to show all.

My classmates(MSW) at Sree Sankaracharya University of Sanskrit, Kalady. Took soon after our third semster feild work presentation on November 12th 2009. We missed Prashant and Nishad during this photo session.

JUST BEFORE SHADE FALLS!!!

The final semester is here. Just six months more in university campus and after that, each one of us will be chasing different dreams. All the fun and frolic will come to an end. There will be only memories left. The class is as usual divided, each one sticking out with people they call "gang mates". I haven't felt much of a change in vibes. It has been the same for the past 3 semester. Nothing much to complain as no one is ready to break the comfort bubble, not even me. I ‘had’ a wonderful group of friends. Now I’ve given up ma attempts to make everyone feel special.

When will the class stand as united? It seems people are least bothered about another person’s life. Where does the problem lie? It is more sensible to curl up inside one’s own shell, go to the class with least expectations, copy down words of lecturers, go back home with a heavy heart. All the fake smiles & all the made up questions, which I have to reply will be there. For me, it sounds horrible to be sitting in midst a bunch of people, who doesn't allow you to penetrate through.

All doesn't seem so bad, I have had good times like the Induction program from seniors, First semester field work, Second semester fieldwork with Deena, All India tour, Nature camp, Rendezvous `09 (All Kerala social work students and teachers meet), seminar on intellectual property rights, Farewell for seniors, arts fest, all the bdays celebrated, field work at Kusumagiri mental health center, bike journey from Trivandrum, survey among truck drivers… Only a semester left to fly away from university campus. That’s what is painful, no matter how ma heartfelt. I have shared a good part of ma college life with these people who made me laugh, cry, smile, frown. I will walk down the gate of the university with mixed emotions. I will never be able to forget even one of them, because they are part of ma life, engraved into ma heart.

ONAM GREETINGS & THANKS FOR BDAY WISHES

Today mallus across the continent are celebrating ONAM........... traditional festival of Kerala celebrated in honor of MAVELI the demon king who ruled Kerala long ago............. as the story goes............ he was a noble king.......... gods in heaven got scared of the fact that he was powerful and plotted ways to bring him down............ lord MAHAVISHNU disguised as vamana -the bhramin boy reached the king and asked for 3 foot land.......... maveli without knowin the trap agreed............. vamana covered earth n the entire universe in his first two steps................ maveli offered his head for keepin vamana's third foot land................ n thus he was banished to the underworld.................. vamana agreed to maveli's plea that he may be allowed to visit his kingdom once in a year................. n thus we mallus celebrate Onam.............. usually onam is celebrated for 10 days..... the most important being THIRUVONAM............. it is a time for families to spent time together............ to pluck flowers to adorn pookalam.......... n also the ladies in the family dance to the tune of thiruvathira................. after which the entire family sits in for the tasty sadhya(lunch)................... ONAM in every true sense is the traditional festival of kerala..............
Onam is not just another festival but, a feeling............. This realization came in very late after seeing the heavy rush on the streets yesterday, people flocking to buy vegetables, flowers and last minute shopping. Though rain dampened some of the Onam spirit, people were still enthusiastic about this once in a year festival.
Onam Greetings to all of ma friends…..

August left me with some Sweet memories…
I celebrated 22nd birthday on 28th day of August…. It was so sweet…. I would like to thank all whom stood for me, all these two decades…
Especially to my family…

Adding thanks to all those ppl who left me best wishes on ma birthday…


Haleema
Nea
Bony fas
Arun-Orkut
Fr. james
Arun PS
Sheri Cheattan
Anumol Thomas
Anish
Toney Joy
Shimi Madam
Ashraf
Baiju Sir
Varun Paul
Liji
Praveen kumar
Reshma
Tinu
Vysagh
Parvathy
Rajesh
Rahul
Deena
Joseph
Joshy
Viswaja
Rasheed
Renju
Thomson
Kannan
Fr. Francis
Vidya
Jithna
Rekha
Aswathy
Tino
Jeril
Shone
Edison
Amrutha
Sarang
Vineeth
Renjith
Ajeesh
Praveen
Ishitha
Deepthi
Amal
Keerthi
Sivaja
Rajesh
Anjana
Arun
Kailasnath
Sajith
Blessy
Regi
Anjali
Tresa
Jose
Martin
Remya
Vishnu
Bjorn
Jojo
And all...

Can i light those six candles, forever???

Hey buddies, am running hard... am busy all these days.... have some goals in front of me... so i am compelled to stop following my likes... my family, friends, music, f.r.i.e.n.d.s (sitcom in Star World)…. And the list goes on…. I am trying my level best to give a Missed call to all those things that i miss. BTW I enjoy being busy…
K… when tonight the clock says “its 12 now”, then I will say that, I had a wonderful day. Got many planned things done, successfully…
Nowadays, ma life at university is full of surprises, everyday you come across something new. Each day is an experience, learning lot of stuffs. Better make a good note of all these valuable lessons this time around. Am busy cooking the event for the nascent social workers and gurus of social work from gods own country… it is really amazing…
You can almost feel it or even smell from the air around when people that are close to your heart starts moving away. It doesn't feel good as a whole. Some relationships stand the test of time while, some other wither in small wind. It’s an old story of six friends… who just started discovering each other at the land of great sankara… it was just a bud, but somehow the manure was not enough for it to blossom…
I am trying to make the story of six friends reappear from its grave… am trying… or in other words I am already on track from last few days… have some plans… moving positive… and the most recent news is that I got “go-ahead” signal…
I'm looking forward to the days ahead, its special in many ways…